Friday, June 09, 2006
coming to end....yet going to a new adventure.
it's over now..high school has finally come to an end...
that unwanted point in our lives...it's finally here.
the point where all those long friendships separate
and endure their ultimate tests. are the friendships
that you sustained in high school really strong enough
to endure a test this big? can it sustain itself after
getting separated in different schools; millions of miles
away? will those relationships still remain the same?
will the friendships still remain after all the time
that will be in between until we meet again in the future?
there's just so much to think about.
i thought about it, will i be able to sustain any?
i know i'll never drop any friendships, but will i be strong
enough to sustain them in the very same level as they are now?
i honestly do not know becuase people change, scenarios change,
environments change, and connections change. i may be able to
sustain that friendship...but will the other person be able to?
or what if the other person can, and i cannot? it's fearful.
high school is soon to come to a true end: after the exams...
spread in span of 4 more days. then it's summer; until the point
that we meet again at graduation. after that..it's continuing the
summer...where everyone can spend the remaining time together;
before they separate to western, albany, macmaster, ocad and carleton.
those are the closest friends of mine... yet none of them are going
the be with me next year....we're all going to take that ultimate test
of friendship--will we all pass? i honestly don't know and cannot imagine.
i want to cry out to the world becuase i know i will miss these people so
much...becuase i may or may not ever see these people again. i've been
through so much with them; in the few years of high school.
just to even imagine the difference that university will bring to each of us, scares me. freezes me. and just makes me shiver in fear. the things that i can imagine will be thrown at each of my brothers; will they be able to withstand it? i fear for them; especially one. one's got God behind his back, but the other does not. i really fear for him. in a conversation that lasted yesterday night, he said "he does not know how he will make it next year without me"...it was a powerful statement...becuase it showed his acknowledgement of me and the purpose of me. just to separate from him may be a big test for me. my spiritual support, my other brother......just to imagine that he will not be there for me anymore...i cannot just look around the corner and find him to support me through anymore. will miles away from the both of us....to even imagine if we'll be able to sustain our friendship together and that brotherly love we have now. it scares me to think about it...it really does. my sisters...i cannot imagine what it will be like...i'm already not good with one of you and we've went our separate paths...but yet i still put my eyes on you--on the side to support you. but the others, i dont know how iam possibly going to keep in contact with you. i really dont know...you have miles between us too....will you remember me after all that? i dont know. just so many things. i really want to hug you and pull you close to me...i dont want to let you go. i love you all too much.
to imagine that i've only got a few more months with you all...it really scares me and i just dont know how to handle it.
forever brothers. let that never change. faith guys faith. just faith.
i love each of you. i can hardly imagine life without you two.
love.
¤¤ stan blogged at
9:55:00 PM
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1 Comments:
same goes for me too, and yeah, tell me where ur going, we're all gonna keep in touch via msn, phone, maybe if we're close, drive? yeah, im confident that everyone will try their hardest to keep the relationships going, i know i will... who knows, we might meet up later in our lives and we can reminisce about old times in our 30s or 40s... Just a statement that I have found to be helpful: even if earthly friends/brothers are not there in person, they will always be with you in spirit and God as well. Whenever u feel down at University, u can still contact us, even though it may not be in person, we'll be a phone call/msg away. Although we haven't talked all that much over these years, I still see you as someone who's always there for me and I will gladly do the same, just ask.
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