Thursday, December 15, 2005
life cycle: suicidal thoughts.who's ever thought about suicide?
isn't it just so easy to simply jump it,
ending it right there...no more physical pain.
no more problems to care about on earth,
no more things to worry about.
no more school.
who is the kind of person that looks at the school,
and thinks to themselves, they want to quit?
who is the kind of person to take a look at themselves,
and thinks the themselves, they want to quit?
who is the kind of person that looks at everything around them,
and thinks to themselves, they want it to end?
who is the kind of person that wants to end life right now?
who..
who..
who..
i am.
school was supposed to be place of fun for me,
where i can interact with friends and learn alongside them.
not a place of stress and misery and failure.
i'm in the listing of all the three mentioned entities.
i'm in my last year, before i get to university...
like it or not.
am i ready for that big jump? no i'm not.
am i ready with the marks to get in? no i'm not.
am i ready for anything at all actually? no i'm not.
actually, am i ready to quit? yes i am.
actually, am i ready to fail? yes i am.
who..
who..
who..
i have so much in my head,
i simply want to say to myself, eff yourself.
end it.
to answer that question--who..?
I AM.
¤¤ stan blogged at
12:30:00 AM
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4 Comments:
hey dude!! hang in there, alright? although it's so much easier to give up, is it the right thing to do? i know that you're always up for the challenge and wanting to help those around you!! we want you to LIVE!! : ) what would we do without you!?
To keep me from becoming conceited because of these surpassingly great revelations, there was given me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
1 Corinthians 12:7-10
there's not much more i can say because Paul pretty much says all i wanted to say. keep living because God's not done with you yet!! if He was, you'd be dead!! : ) just want to let you know i'm praying for you, kay? we love you Stan!!
in Him,
fellow sister in Christ
its always easier to give up.
but keep going because God calls you a better life!
* you can do it [not on your own] ill be by your side!
don't you give up. because you know life sweeter and better had come and will come. right now might not be so good. its just all in the makings of a better life if you live for Christ. i dont think anyone is truly prepared for anything..life..university..friendships..until they let go of trying to be prepared for it and start relying on God to carry them through it. you have your part to do and its hard because you're a weak human like everyone else is. be glad you're not doing the hard part that God is doing..thats setting out your life before you're even going to take a step further. so remember that. that he has everyhting ready for you..just make a leap of faith (do your part) and he'll catch you and carry you through. take care bro.
i've been there, so I can say this: don't even think of it... it's not worth it one bit.. so what if u escape reality? what does it really do? one question that helped me: "What/Who am I living for?" i asked myself and found the answer: myself. is that right? nope... even now, i need to change, cuz im not living for the good of others or God. so i ask u the question... "What/Who are U living for?"(Read PDL, it might help =D). And I completely agree with what brii has to say, we're not perfect, we struggle, we fail, but God is always there and will never give up on us. We can fully rely on him, but in addition, I say we must do our best to change as well. Sis is right go with 1 Cor. 12:7-10. And ur friends will support you the only way we can, be there.
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