Saturday, December 24, 2005
christmas time.Merry Christmas! =))
Christmas is tomorrow, tonight's Christmas eve.
i sit here for a lil bit before i go venture out with my family.
for a time of rejoice and spending time together.
but then i also question something...
i feel kind of lonely?
not in terms of being actually lonely,
because i know i have so many others that surrounds me,
that care about me, that respects me, that whatever else me.
but the fact that i don't get to really see that many of them
during the break this year. there are limited amount of days,
but they all come back later on...
and there's another individual that i want to spend time with,
but that's close to impossible.
every time i think about it,
there's a certain tug at my heart still.
a sting, a pierce, a whip,
a sudden drop and feeling of sourness overwhelms my heart.
it's different.....really different.
losing such a best friend during the year,
it's a hard to suck on fact.
but i guess, this is what God wants to teach me?
people are not always there, but He's always there
and present with me? no matter what the cause...
no matter how close, no matter how well we know each other.
there's no one to replace Him?
i'm not too sure, but i do pray that one day it does get revealed.
God you know what i want, you know what i desire.
i ask that you choose the best ways for me,
and let me be able to adapt to it, with joy.
not happiness, but with joy. your joy. let that fill me.
God, i know it's your birthday tomorrow,
but may i dare to ask that you give me a present in return?
i know you have given me more than i can ever ask for,
but i really ask that you give me THAT gift.
i know i'm asking so much, and even through that,
i do not even know if its right to ask for such.
but that's just what's on my mind for a long time now...
i may be foolish to even ask for it Lord,
but you will choose for me, i know.
i love you God.
let me offer myself up to you,
during this christmas break...let me differ myself.
let me strengthen with your strength,
let me think into your ways and not my ways.
let me just grow with your presence.
let you be the center of my life, let you be one i live for.
always. forever in time, let me live by your presence and methods.
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and God, thank you.
thank you for yesterday, i was able to shape up,
and stand with smiles and laughter,
and worship you in the chapel.
singing to you once again Lord.
let me continue to worship you forever more.
let me love you more and more each day,
for you say i should i not be obsessed with anything Lord,
but may i ask of you to let me be obsessed with You.
let you be the sole reason that i live my life everyday.
let this be another gift that you give to me Lord.
refresh me through this break, and prepare me;
for another new year of battles that you set me through.
let me rejoice in every battle in you,
every hardship, let me see you..your goodness and your all.
let me take it all on.
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God, i may ask of you one more thing.
my brother, he's falling short Lord,
let him stand strong. let him see You.
let him be overwhelmed by You, not by it.
take control Lord, take care of him Lord.
let him rejoice in you, i love him Lord.
he hurts, i hurt. i really ask of you.
i know how it feels to be in his shoes,
and its not a well situation.
let it be all in your way Lord,
i love you.
and brother, if you ever somehow read this:
i love you. that's never one moment of doubt.
we ride together, we live together, we brothers for life.
us 3, let us ride all the troubles through.
relying on each other for support, nonetheless.
i love you brother. never forget that.
and to all the others,
best wishes and have a time of rest,
before another new year starts with new adventures.
take care of yourselves.
sincerely,
stan.
¤¤ stan blogged at
2:40:00 PM
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2 Comments:
stannie pooooh
it was nice seeing you today :)
MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!
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