Friday, October 21, 2005
lets see..yes the day of not knowing what to expect was over.
but still i will continue to not know what to expect over the days of my life.
that's a given.
it's interesting to see couple of things,
even in my tired day at school yesterday,
30 minutes of sleep, and 2 hours of sleep on the day before that.
altogether, 2hrs 30mins of sleep for 2 days.
went to school, and was introduced to her.
nothing really went on, just same old.
then at homeroom, she sat nearby me,
and all i can do is think about her.
but then i realized another in the need of someone,
i care for that person too,
and yet i try to help her.
at the same time, she tried to help her too.
it's interesting to see that we both thought
about the same very way to help.
not much, but did what we could for that period of time.
after it was done,
she turned around and plopped the papers onto my desk.
and all i could say was...wtf.
i sucked it in because i'm sort of used to it,
it didnt hurt that much anymore...
becuase i've seen worse already.
then the day went on,
barely 40 minutes have passed by,
and i notice myself giving the effort to talk to her.
shocking to another person that knows about the situation,
it is shocking to myself as well.
i can picture my friend being in the wtf (yet happy for me) mood
since she did not know that her and i talked again,
but it was weird actually, but it brought lightness to my heart.
i can see that we talk again,
sure not in the same way that we used to be in.
but for now, it's a start.
i tried to help her the very same ways i used to,
and she accepted that help.
i'm not sure if it's just me or not,
but it seems like there's a sense of closeness building up again,
and there seems to be a nod or headsup when i walk by the halls now.
maybe things finally cooled down between her and i?
i'm really not sure actually,
but one thing for sure is, god knows more than i.
let him take it all,
and that should all be fine.
sure i wish to be close to her,
but if god says no, then let that be a no.
if he says its a yes, then let that be the best.
----
it's getting late, i'm going to get some shut eye.
didnt even do much studying or anything actually..
came home, and slept. was too tired to go on.
planned to sleep for an hour or two,
but ended up sleeping till 3:19am from 4:20pm.
then began to study, did a lil bit...
but its time for some sleep..because my body,
is still not ready 100%.
good luck guys (for all those who's taking calculus quiz first thing like me)
and for those in eng quiz.
and sadly, me for computer quiz as well.. -_-
¤¤ stan blogged at
6:05:00 AM
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1 Comments:
hey
thanks for asking
sorry i didn't really feel like sharing.. i just didn't want to talk about it constantly you know? but thanks..knowing that people care is encouragement enough.
take care
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