-- SLK32 --

Monday, August 22, 2005

rules to remember.

summertime almost coming to an end, but during it was one hell of a time. from crappy stages to wonderful stages, back down to shitty stages altogether...then bringing myself back up..to the stages of having my mom and uncle come back (ever since a long time ago.) you can say...life has revolutionized.

life has been such a hectic experience for me over the long summer; since so many things shot at me when i'm most defenseless. from a powerful being that many people think or recognize me as, i fell down. i fell at the wounds that i endured over the summer...one after another shot. from a well-crafted shield; i defended. but a steady shield will start to break or shatter when there's a massive use of it. my sword and my shield fell at the enemy's attack. they fell, and was discarded because of their lack of use. by myself, i attack and defend by my bare hands. but i fall; i just keep falling and falling...into stages where i just feel that threat of death is about to come. the enemy's won..and that i should give up.

but it's intriguing that the shield that i once threw out, and the sword that i throttled onto the ground, are the very keys of my return. there's always that leftover spark inside of me, since i did not want to lose. i had backup (my friends) to support me along the way. i run back to the weapons i once had, picked it back up and here i am at battle again. at first, it's weird..and still i feel the fear and sense to give up the battle...but i still hung on.

battled on and accepted the way it ran. fought it through, and continuing to fight for life. enemies become stronger each time, as my sword/shield each begin to wear away. but through all this, i fought alone..or most of it by myself. i did not rely on my weapon supplier to fix up my weapons. now that i think back and reflect, and see the key to survival in life. you MUST find your weapon-supplier and heal up your sword and shield; to continue your hard-out battle of your life; against the worst enemies; against the most difficult enemies, just any. for me, i found that superior blacksmith; that helped me out during battle. God.

He provided, he gave me back the strength, provided the backup i needed, provided the help, provided the strategies, provided the ways, provided the foods and all. and most of all, he sharpened the sword and thickened the shield. But each time along the next battle, he perfects the weapon that you need to use to endure the very battle. my sword was once a one-sided sword, but now it was tuned to a double-edged sword for my stronger enemies. my shield was once made by wood, but now it has been added with steel. both weapons of supreme power lay in my hands...He has the faith in me to use these weapons to continue to stick by him..and it's my repsonsibility to trust these very weapons that he made in my battles of life. (in the same way, we must trust him to endure life.) i have chosen to follow this marvelous crafter. but who is your weapon supplier?
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not only that did i learn, but lengthy lessons did i also learn from my dear uncle. one that shared the very same experiences that i have faced in my childhood and teenage life. one that has been with me from my youth ages to the preteen ages. he cares and supports; for he also teaches. he reminded me of how a person should do what they feel is appropriate (for helping someone or giving something out), but never expect anything in return. a person should give willingly, and not do something for the purpose of having something in return. you do what you do, and that's it. you should not expect anything in return.

"a real man takes his opportunities in doing something for others, but never expects something back." doing something for others, and getting nothing in return...may give the feeling of unsatisfaction, sadness, hurting, or what not. which may seem unfair, but life ain't fair...there should not be such a word. you do waht you wanna do, and that's what you gotta do.

don't ever expect anything back for something that you do.
for the future will lay the returns you should get.
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over on top, what i think about is those 3 and those 2.
it has been a time of training with those 5 altogether...sad times that i hated, crappy times that i endured, and even happy-shattering times with them. there's so much that has happened with the 5 and myself. the 6 of us endured some of the worse times that i can remember. sure there can be more, or there can be worse. but i'm gonna try my best to take it on like a man. i'm gonna endure ecah battle with you guys. i love you guys.

even though you guys are only a call away, or a drive away.
i miss you guys so deeply that i cannot express; i want to hold my arms around each of you. i miss you that much.

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conclude it:
lesson1: pick your way, for it should be with God; enduring the battles.
lesson2: do things out of your will, but do not expect anything back.
o-o-t: i miss you.

1 Comments:

Anonymous said...: You have a lot to say, you have a lot to think about, and your summer has been a relentless battle.

All I can do is agree. My summer has been the most extreme time of my life yet... and it seems yours has too.

I won't say any more. I already deleted half of this comment cause it's just me babbling...; 1:33 AM