-- SLK32 --

Tuesday, July 05, 2005

deserving or not deserving.

none of us deserves anything.
i don't deserve anything that i have.
i don't deserve anything that i'll ever have.
you're a blessing to me from the start,
blessed am i to have you close by me,
in the rough times of my life.
in times that i need you most,
sure yo'ure not there all the time,
but you're there enough for me that it's such a blessing.
i wouldn't say never, but regret is not a thing that i would suggest,
for our friendship. cuz it's been a wonderful blessing.
a friendship is a long journey, one that takes a lot of molding,
it ain't something that can happen overnight,
it ain't something that can just magically appear.
it all takes the rise and falls,
until our legs are tired,
until our knees are scraped with blood.
but should we ever regret?
none.
just like your name, it should mean nothing.
all those ups and downs are just mere buildups
for me and you.
don't ever doubt yourself,
cuz you should not.
you've done so much for me that i lost track,
you may not feel it,
but to me, you've blessed me enough.
there are difficulties right now,
but there is still the power that links us.
for you to call me THAT name again,
i can see that you have never given up on me either.
it's a relief in a way..
although not a full one.
but.
through all this, i will still hold your hand.
i will not let go, even if it means to suffer.
pain is something that comes from love.
love is pain.
pain is love.
true love works together with the factor of pain.
why do we pain for the ones we love?
becuase that love is so great, that we crave for the other,
even if it means for us to endure something called pain.
i will always hold onto your hands,
even with my last breathe, i will hold on.
your name still remains on my neck,
that's a promise i have for you, all the way back from the start.
promises, i will try my best to never break.
will i break it one day? i might.
but with all my strength, i will not let that happen.
times where i thought about letting go,
and removing such dogtags; there were many.
why? cuz with such great love, it brings great pain.
pain that is hard to endure,
but i choose to take it.
i choose to endure it.
i choose to go through all of it.
why?
the reason is nothing complicated.
the reason is not something that needs scientific support.
the reason is not something that needs tests and observations.
the reason is simply you.
i choose to be with you.
and i choose to endure.
because you're worth THAT much to me.
tears. pain. hurt. weakness. trembling. shakiness.
all worth your friendship back to me.
i did not give all my body's strength out,
to last our bond to this very day,
and shake it all off with a small (yet big) thing as this problem right now.
my bodies about to rip,
but the body is merely a thing,
a thing that can be replaced.
a thing that can regrow itself.
a thing that can heal.
but a lost friendship is a lost friendship.
that ain't gonna happen.
i simply ask you to give me such the appropriate time,
for i think that is all i truly need.
with all the leftover confidence i have in you,
i urge you to do well in that math test tomorrow.
for that will be the best thing you can do for me now.
best of luck for you boo.
a name that i have not publicly called you in a vast time,
but until this day, i am not ashamed to call you such.
you know you will do well on it tomorrow,
results being good or bad, it won't affect me.
all i want you to do, is to try your best,
for whatever result (as long as you try your best) will satisfy me.
you got this one, girl.

--stan.

Tuesday, July 05, 2005

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