Monday, May 30, 2005
reflection point.so i hate you, yet i love you. (life)
can't you be better off? can't you be equal with everyone else? yeah i know mines better off than a lot of people already...but i'm still jealous of so many around me. i'm jealous of their smartnesss. i'm jealous of their possessions. i'm jealous of their character. i'm jealous of their friends. i'm jealous of their things they have in life that i don't have or feel. i sense from so many people the feeling of non-care. but yet i know they still care.... but i dunno, i guess i need it to show? i don't know.
then i think about something that's soon to come. my teacher, my friend, my one acquaintance that i met through history class in the front. one guy who didn't look down on me because i was new. a guy that didn't care what i looked like. a guy that stood around to hear me. a guy that stood around to hug me. a guy that stood around to cheer me up. a guy that i was able to shout to. a guy that i was able to yell at when i'm not in the mood for anything else. a guy that would listen to me. a guy that invited me to his church because of things that went wrong. a guy who stood by me when i was in one of the biggest pile of crap. a guy that's been with me at pca throughout the 3 years. a guy that i never thought i'd be close with. a guy, that's so different from me...but still took care of me within the years at pca. a guy that i treated like a family member. a guy that treated me like his family member. a guy that shared his feeling with me. a guy that i love. a guy that i care for. a guy that always cares for me. a guy that acted like my dad that i never had. but that part, he's soon to leave. leave from pca, leave from my physical life, and leaving me open to danger and stupid decisions once again. i don't konw how it will be, and i don't know what will happen. and i'm sure so many miss this very same guy. but he was the person who took care for me (he offered me to take care of me, he offered his time, he offered it all for me. even though we have no connection in blood or whatever. he's a guy that just opened up to me and cared for me.) i love you, jones. i love you more than you can imagine man. im' going to miss you. i love you so much jones. thanks for all that you've provided and given to me within these years. when i first heard your departure....for the very first time, it's been a shock to me already. but you stayed one more year. but now you say you're going to leave again, it's one feeling that i feel different about. God bless you, man.
sincerely, stan.
¤¤ stan blogged at
6:21:00 PM
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4 Comments:
and proud of it too! =)
you know that
tho i think i'm slowly going insane i think i'm losing brain cells quicker than anyone else.
-- and what are you doing reading blogs? you should be studying.. or better HERE HELPING US!
gosh..
im gonna miss jones soooo insanely much.
i say
we drive down
and visit him every weekened.
=)
roadtrip... NC? hmm... hahahaha... =D
s-s-s-sss--taaaan. i'll miss him too, he won't be replaced..
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