-- SLK32 --

Friday, April 29, 2005

miss. part II.

what more can i say? except i miss you.
i miss the times we were good. i miss the times that we trust. i miss the times that we shared. i miss the times when were so close. i miss the times when you call me. i miss the time that i call you. i miss the time when we bonded so closely.

i hope for the day that we can both reform with each other.
i lay on my knees, waiting for God's permission; for i know he can change hearts and bring us back together. i think that our relation is strong enough to withstand this. all i need of you is to open up to me once again my little sister.

retreat 2005.
this was truly a retreat to remember.
last year's retreat in comparison with this one...its in no comparison. last year i had to deal with a problem that i never want to ever deal with. it hit me so hard, that i trembled down more than 10 months of my life. but this year, i'm hit with a new problem, yet very similar to the old one. i'm starting to tremble, and my body is reacting with tears that i cannot contain within myself. this year, the retreat was really well organize through God's work. the point of the bus to the point of arriving at the place to the point of sermons to OASIS to 3am to the point back on the bus. this was such a God-present event. it was so grand, and it was so touching to each and every one of us. it was such a good reflection for every one of us...even though it may be this "spiritual high" that we speak of..but keep at it guys, it won't be. just keep going and shoutin for GOD. he's the one way, and he's the life. i loved the 3am period that we shared, i got to talk to her...and it relieved me a bit..but the pain hasn't gone away yet..cuz i still actually miss. i ask for prayers from all who reads. i ask all those who care. i ask all that i'm close or not close with. this brother of Christ of yours is kneeling down to you, to sincerely ask for your help through prayers, as i tremble and shake within my own body; with tears coming down. i really sincerely ask.

+------
arthur: man man man, stanley tweetle that i am. hah....been great to get to know you, and it's great to see you around within worship time. it's such a pleasing thing to the heart to see that you sing your till your lungs blow out during them...how you raise your arms, and worship until they're soar..and yet you still raise it up. (i can support your arms, don't worry! just keep it raised! haha) that's the few times that i got to spend with you during this retreat; sure wished i can spend some more with you. but having that said, i still continue to grow with you alongside God's supervision. take it all easy.

kawai: buds, first off thanks. second off, thanks. and third off, did i mention thanks? it's been such a close time with me and you during this trip...i got to speak to you in person for the first time. where we're able to shoot words at each other without regrets, just straight up truth that shook each other the max. i shed tears, you shed tears. yet we continue to help each other through our problems...throwing aside our own, until we're able to help the other. looking out for the other even if it meant putting our pain aside or dealing with it at the same time....thinking for the other person, yet still boggled by our own problems. as for you man, take it easy..and step by step. do'nt take no shortcuts and trust me, nothing comes easy...take it slow and hop over each boulder or step that comes after you. take it all up on the big guy, don't let it compress on you. you ain't got the body frame to do it. you ain't bigger than the air we breathe, only God is bigger than the air we breathe. --"My Glorious" says so. =)

nada: man...am i glad you're still part of my life. without you, i dunno who else i'd be talking to when i was so overwhelmed at that hour. it was such a good experience for the both of us. (well at least to me, it was amazing.) it's been such a pleasure to have a repeat of last year at jackson's point...just seeing our past again, but with a new perspective. last year, it was me and you in the biggest pile of horse-crap, but this year...we're looking back at it, and smiling at it. (when we basically died for it back then...) it's such a good feeling. then you supported me throughout the times when i just bawled and felt completely shattered everywhere. you came by and you set your hands onto me and just comforted me. i walked outside, yet you still followed me..even into the freezing cold. you were freezing your ass off, yet you still remained with me. you just cared so much for me. i respect that so much and appreciate it more than anything. i gave you my coat, yet you're so cute to "reject" it and tell me that i need it. but nah; you should know by now, i dont really care about myself, i care about others and definitely you. page 19 man, page 19. =) i thank you so much again and again for just supporting me throughout all this hardship that i've went through during this retreat. i'm glad we're good now..thanks for EVERYTHING. take care my dear sister =)

luka: leng mooi, gosh i have so much to say to you...much more than what i have said to you during that 2am chat we had during the oasis meeting thing. i dunno.. i don't wanna say it here...if you read this, i guess give me a call on my cellphone or at home. any time it is, just give me that call. thanks for making my retreat so special as the way it was. i respect that, even though it may not be the way i want things to be...but it sure brought a whole lot of "interesting points" into the retreat.

heidi: hihismile! haha, as much as you say you don't wanna take credit and stuff...i just really wanna tell you man. you did an absolutely good job on this year's retreat alongside the whole team you held together. Sure it was God's works in the ultimate sense. but think about this, you allowed yourself to be used by Him heidi...this is an effort from you. i'm happy that you did not go on the europe trip, because you played a big part in our retreat this year...it's put such a great impact in so many people's lives--especially the grade 11s. take best of care of yourself, and do not overstress yourself...cuz i can tell you're already being busy! =) chillllllax.

deb: didn't get to talk to you too much on this retreat, but i saw what you did at the 3am oasis meeting thing...it's brave of you deb. i'm so proud of you to finally be able to face the problems that overtook you for a while. i haven't been able to talk to you lately.....prolly cuz of all the workload. but i wanna tell you antoher thing, is that you did such an awesome job in planning things out with heidi. i must give you pat on the back. thanks for surrending yourself to God, so that He can use you to lead us to worshipping Him. coming from a buddhist home, it must be hard to stay strong to God at all times, and especially it'll be hard to plan such a devoted and wonderful retreat. it's been such a pleasure to experience this retreat. it's one that will not be forgotten. hope to be able to get to know you more and more within this and next year =)

tim: yeah, although we're not that close (yet!) i thank you so much for just checking up on me when i was a lil gloom here and there at the lunch table...ha, and such a good singer ;) our TNL group ruleddddddddd. 10+1..all the way. keep it up all to God and best of luck to everything that you do. :)

andrew: keep that drumming going along and retreat's music, splendid. definitely something i'm encouraged to hear and got me sparked up to worship God. such a good experience, ha, we got to know ecah other a bit better....but we're still growing. so yah =) great to spar with ya, haha...even though i sucked. hahaha you owned me =P but oh well. i'll just blame it on.. uh... you're properly trained! =p i'm not! muhahahahahahahaaaa! i'm so cheap :P oh well. take care man.

rach: PS. what more can i say? hahah...sexy! that's the word =) how can i forget? heheh...it's beeen great to know you ever since the first we've met...i can't even remember! it seems so long that we've known each other...but pssh who cares! it's only you! ha, just kidding =) but i must say, brave kid. braveness. i'm proud of you for saying such a thing and asking of such a thing into your life. i can see God's working and picking at your heart already...you'll need to continue to pray yourself and open up that heart and let him in. i'll def pray for you PS. no doubt at that.

lionel: blah, you know what i haveta say to you. it's late now, i'm lazy to type ha...1:42 am, you know what i gotta say. major props to you man...and i love your leadership skills; it's so grooovy and rad man! (ha, learned from ted.) uh...yeah, i appreacite the fact that you caught on to my sadness and pissiness and didn't bother forcing me to do so something that i did not want to do. glad you understand all of that...and real thankful you stood around. and you know what? one small cabin fixed with like 8 guys? ha...what a joke =p

valerie: great singing, even though you sick and all...you managed to pull through. we're both so sick and we managed to get to the retreat after it all...isn't God great? i think so! =) God's always around and man..was i surprised at your braveness...in sharing that powerful message to all the grade 11s..what courage it must took. if i had that courage...i'd be so much more than what i am...thanks for setting such a powerful image and example! great retreat and great singing once again...take best of care =)

jake: nice talking to you afterwards, got to konw you a lil better and hope to get to know you a lot better. continue to stick with God and conitnue to grow bud. take it all up to Him as you told me to do so in my problems. now do the same for you and keep it all going good. don't be scared to talk to me about anything, don't ever think anything is stupid. you got a Q? just hollers. msg me, post here, call me...anything. don't know my number? ask me, ask der, ask anyone. on call 24/7. you betcha i got you covered. take it easy. =)

kim: best of luck with your faith girl. glad to see God's finally working in your life nowadays...i remember a while back, you didn't seem too godly and you definitely did not really talk about God..even if i tried to. but i see you're growing as we speak..and especialyl during this retreat.. you sang and you sang and you sang...till your hearts shot out..and you gave out a testimonial.. and all...great job. keep it up girl. dwell into the father's kingdom! =)

---------------------------
anyone i miss? sorry =P

2 Comments:

Mack said...: man... hope the retreat was good for you... hang in there, God works wonders dawg...; 1:00 AM
Xae Lee said...: hey bro, i woudlnt say i won the sparring match, u actually got me in the face twice :S. i promise a better match some other time. thanks for the encouraging words, but ofcourse, 100% glory of the praise goes to God. we SHOULD get to know eachother like u said, see ya around bro; 2:29 AM