Friday, January 28, 2005
PICK. i want you to try this.
1. the happiness of your closest friend, but losing reputation.
2. gaining reputation. but hurting your close friend.
pick, i want you to.
the only thing that's been revolving around my head. i sit here and have problems with my closest friend's guy, what is this? do you know how hard it is to live this life? why do i always have to back down. why does he always get to get away from all this kinda shit? honestly, i want him down. but then that risks my closest friend's emotions and all. i want you to try thinkin in my shoes.
raised and learned to live through a public system--everything was through force and reputation. then through a change to a new private school; thinking all that will slowly vanish--it did. until now. all's back. just so simple to put everything into hand. just one call away from forming the union of a lifetime to totally annihilate this one figure. hated this guy from the beginning, and now, it just all builds up. all so simple, just a snap of a finger. but what things do i have to hurt? answer is my closest friend. God. and possibly many others.
why do i have to go through all this? my body's trembling becuase i'm so bound to want to send the word and make that guy suffer through it all, yet i have to fight it off because i don't want that very close friend to be in such a hard position and pain.
gosh i hate this. fuck.
this friend is that important, i'm not in the mood to hurt her.
(mind the fact, i won't even hurt anyone if i don't have to. but i have my limits.)
¤¤ stan blogged at
6:25:00 PM
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4 Comments:
stan buddy i'm not going to lie to you and say i understand and that i know your pain, 'cause i don't. but what i do know is that all this kind of crap will make you stronger in the end. we've talked a little about this thing..maybe not THIS specifically, but on the general topic..and you know the best advice i can give you is to do what God would want you to do, and after all is said and done, make sure you have no regrets.
by thinking through and resisting this thing demonstrates how strong of a person you are. you're a strong-willed, determined, good-hearted guy..and it's in this way i wish i could be more like you. to be stronger, to be more determined.
all of this you posted shows that strength, and shows your love and kindness towards n...the fact that you want to do this thing that you've "grown up" with, yet resisting it as to not hurt that close friend...you are an amazing person.
besides that i don't know what else to tell you...just strap yourself in and ride out the wave. we're all here for you, the three of us..you know it man. we're each holding a two...by ourselves we're as low as you can get, but together and with God who holds the ace, we form a wicked arse hand.
so keep it all together alright? take care of yourself and keep in mind that God's in control of everything. He'll never give you a burden too great to bear.
Aiyo Stan... OK... so you're prolli pissed at me, but I'm being straight up wit you man, you have no reason to be. This whole thing isn't worth it. Look at this 10 years down the road. Just fast forward 10 years, and look back at this situation. What would you have accomplished? What's the big deal of gaining or losing reputation? Who cares? Who is there to really impress? We're done high school next year, and you won't see over 90% of the people at school on a regular basis. Why does it matter what people think? Honestly, I don't know if you notice this, but I get hated on wherever I am, whoever I'm with. But see, people can say whatever the hell they want, and it don't mean anything. Who cares about reputation? If you feel you've got to do something, you just got to do it. If you see how pointless that action is though, you simply don't do it. It's not a hard decision. You can't base things on what other people think. If I based my life around what other people thought man, I'd be a whole different person then I am today. I wouldn't be myself. Just be yourself, and be who God wants you to be. If people judge you after that, they have to answer to God. You can't even judge yourself, only God can judge us. No man can tell you who you are, or what you're worth. That's something only God determines. If you think this whole thing with this individual is a problem, just do what you got to do. But listen to me, I came from a public system too... and then from an even worse private school, which was corrupt. The whole place was filled drugs, alcohol, and violence. I understand your position, but even in those situations, back in the system, when has violence ever done you good? Violence has got me into a lot of trouble. I still go back to the day in Grade 8 when I broke a guy's jaw... I was so lucky to be off the hook for that. If that guy had called the police, I would have been charged with assault. This stuff is serious. The world doesn't talk about the seriousness of violence in our society today, and more importantly the consequences. Honestly yo, it's not cool to have back. Anyone can get someone to do their dirty work for them, but then, what does that really say? I can't handle this situation myself, because for whatever reason I don't have the physical, mental, emotional, and most importantly SPIRITUAL capacity to do so? To me, that's what it says, but I know you're better then tnat. You just seem to have forgotten. No one in life is important enough for you to risk what would come with calling people on another person... no one. Just ask yourself this question in terms of the choices you're left with. WHAT WOULD JESUS DO? It's not hard, because that's the only decision that matters, the one Christ would make, and the one He would want you to make. This is a long post, and I swear, you better have read through the whole thing. Just your head man, because you know you're better then this whole situation. It's been blown out of proportion, and has totally shifted focuses. This has become something that it originally wasn't, and it should just fade into nothing at this point. We both know that, and everyone else involved knows that too. Just think about what I said, and if you got any questions, or comments, or whatever, you know the 411. I'm out... peace.
i've never tried crest white strips.. do they work?
yea i've tried them but i think you gotta do it consecutively or they wont work
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